Pretend Paradise Island

Sveti means "saint" in the Montenegrin (Serbian) language. And Sveti Stefan is the dream image you'll see on almost every poster advertising Montenegro. Connected by a narrow isthmus to the mainland, this 15th-century former fishing village takes up entirely the tiny island it's built upon.

Tucked inside medieval walls, it's a honey-suckled world that feels mythical. And despite the medieval church, it is make-believe. While I wouldn't describe Sveti Stefan as Disneyfied, it has nothing in common with the real Montenegro.

Here's why: In the 1960s, the island was transformed into an exclusive retreat for the West's rich and famous. Given that Yugoslavia was then a communist country in Tito's iron grip, the concept seems pretty odd. But the stone cottages became hotel apartments and suites, attracting the likes of Sophia Loren, Liz Taylor and Richard Burton, and Britain's Princess Margaret. Adding to the decadence, a nightclub and casino were built.

Blithely ignoring the fact that the celebrities all vanished with the outbreak of the 1990s Balkan conflict, travel articles and brochures still extol Sveti Stefan's exclusivity. "The only deluxe accommodation on the Montenegrin coast," says one. Nor can they resist using the tired description of "jet-set glamour." They've conveniently forgotten that budget airlines allow us all to be jet-setters now!

Although Sveti Stefan's ambiance is priceless, its accommodations aren't classy. (For deluxe comforts, head down the road to Becici's brand-new Hotel Splendido, built with Russian money.) Sveti Stefan is a time-warp of 1970s retro furniture and dodgy plumbing. But that won't last. The island has been leased to Singapore hotel chain Aman Resorts who plan a multi-million dollar makeover when this season ends. Once that happens, prices are expected to rise at least four-fold.

Checking Montenegrin hotel booking sites, at this moment you can get a room on Sveti Stefan for $153 a night. But don't expect exclusivity. For a fee of $8, any "jet-setter" off a holiday charter flight can explore the island. For sunbathers, a couple of loungers and parasol costs $13--double the charge in Budva.

You can get here for $1.30 on what I renamed the "Sweaty Stefans"--tightly-packed minibuses plying between Budva and Sveti Stefan village on the mainland. From there it's a walk downhill across the isthmus. Expect a hair-rising ride. Mostly it's standing room only on mini-buses.

If you see Sveti Stefan properties advertised, they'll be in the mainland village--not on the island. I don't know of any for sale, but one Budva agent says anywhere with a view of the island commands prices upward of $600 per square foot. Again, most buyers are Russian.

From what I heard, Sveti Stefan's $32 hotel dinner is a rip-off. Give it a miss because I doubt you'll eat better than on the vine-tangled terrace of Drago's restaurant in the mainland village. You look out to the island, and the delicious daily fish special only costs $13. I got fish chowder, a salad, and a whole sea bream accompanied by small squids and wild spinach.