Maid in China

Every time something went missing in our home in China, the cry would go up: "the "ayi" has lost so-and-so" - "ayi" being the Chinese word for "auntie" used to address a maid - since she was prone to putting things away where they were more convenient for her on the assumption that we did not need, let alone know how to use, whatever it was!

RECRUITING AND TRAINING MAIDS

Honesty Before Ability

If you have difficulty finding an "ayi" who combines honesty and ability, then choose the former. Most maids start well, but many soon deteriorate; an honest maid, however, remains so.

Training Maids from Scratch

Training a maid from scratch should guarantee mutual satisfaction, since she is more likely to do things your way whilst learning a trade.

Choosing a Maid

Beware of recommendations by previous employers, who invariably have different standards, needs, rules, routines, backgrounds etc; and obtain references on previous employers about to leave China, for whom giving a glowing reference will have no backlash. At interview, follow the Chinese practice of using a mutually acceptable Chinese intermediary who speaks your language: then, if you have problems later, the intermediary can say to the maid: "You remember at interview we discussed so-and-so? Well, things are not working out like that; so what we need to do to is ... etc."

Probation

A period of probation at minimal wages should afford ample opportunity to experience your prospective maid's skills.

State Employment Agencies

You should recruit your maid through a state employment agency specialising in supplying Chinese workers to foreigners; and agree a written employment contract detailing her duties and wages.

Domestic Employment Agencies

Rising unemployment amongst women - following the recent economic reforms - has spawned a new caste of professional domestic workers and corresponding employment agencies, serving Chinese and foreign households.

MANAGING MAIDS

Discipline and Dismissal

Maids are so plentiful in China that there is little point in tolerating a poor "ayi" who can easily be replaced - when you should use a Chinese intermediary to: dismiss her instantly and without warning; escort her off the premises immediately, ensuring she returns your keys; and search her bags, to check she takes none of your possessions.

Relationship with Your Driver

Your maid and driver may develop a bond that could result in the latter becoming privy to and passing on intelligence about your domestic life. Try to keep them apart, therefore, as far as practicable.

Supervision

Asking your (husband's) secretary to act as the maid's (and driver's) supervisor may save everyone's "face" in difficult situations.

MAIDS' DUTIES

Child-Minding and Baby-Sitting

Capable "ayis" can make first-class child-minders, and improve your children's Chinese. However: remember the maid who, when asked to wash the baby, allegedly put it into the washing machine with fatal results; and beware of young children who treat maids as their personal servants.

Maids as Cooks

Some maids are superb cooks, such as the "old retainers" of long-term expatriates who have trained them properly. Others, however, just assume that your tastes exactly match their skills or previous Western employer's preferences!

Love Me, Love My Pets

A good "ayi" can be an invaluable dog-sitter and dog-walker. Indeed, our longest surviving maid was the one got on with our dog, taking him for walks and looking after him when we were away.

TERMS AND CONDITIONS OF EMPLOYMENT

Living In or Out?

If you have under-age children, a live-in maid is more convenient and cheaper than a stream of baby-sitters. However, you may loose your privacy, for which the Chinese have little regard. For example: one tried to "sit in" on my wife's coffee mornings; and another to clean the bathroom while we were still using it. It is also alleged that when the mistress is away, the master may be fair game. Thus, ours always lived out, but had her own day-room.

Wages

Maids' wages are no secret between them. Thus, pay your maid the average going rate - neither over the odds, and risk losing your friends as their maids demand a raise; nor a mere pittance, and lose her. Hours, duties and perks come into the equation, but not pity: low wages by Western standards may exceed executive salaries in some Chinese companies.

Bonuses and Gifts

Your maid will expect a bonus or gift at the Spring New Year Festival and Autumn Moon Festival - and more generous than the one she will surely give you, if both of you are not to lose face. Other perks may legitimately include a bicycle and television.

Uniforms

Working clothes, such as a housecoat, can hide perspiration, immodest summer-wear and - by Western standards - clashing colours. For formal entertaining, a smart dress with white apron and hat can motivate the maid to be on her best behaviour.

Days-Off and Holidays

Follow the local norms regarding time off; and arrange it so that the maid is only away when you are (unless required to dog-sit). Provided you take sensible security precautions, and live within a managed complex, it should be safe to leave your home empty for a short time.

Social Security

You should pay social security for your maid and ensure she makes her contribution; and avoid those maids who try to persuade you otherwise. Local government officials can easily visit an expatriate compound and sanction maids and employers who are in breach.

Taking Liberties

The greatest liberty any of our "ayis" took - apart from using the phone - was bringing in her husband's dirty clothes, and using our washing-machine and iron in our time to clean and press them.

MISCELLANEOUS

Household Security

The management of many foreign' housing complexes will insist that you register your maid with them, as a security precaution; and equally, on her dismissal or your departure, de-register her, recover her identity pass and house key, and change any burglar alarm code. Otherwise, you may be ripe for a burglary.

Forms of Address

Our Chinese maids and we used first names to address each other - a practice frowned upon by some older and traditional Chinese friends, who preferred the formal forms of "ayi", "taitai" ("wife") and "xiansheng" ("mister")

Big Brother

Your maid may be tempted to report you to the authorities for what they consider illegal or immoral activities. Hence, I recommend the Victorian code of behaviour: "not in front of the servants".

Bells

In the absence of servants' electric-bells (which have we found useful elsewhere to summon the maid discretely when entertaining), I suggest using a small hand-bell on those special occasions.

Communicating

To avoid misunderstandings: we used flash cards - prepared by my PA - with such useful phrases in Chinese as "please clean the windows today" or "do the ironing tomorrow"; or else my wife would ring my PA, explain the situation, and then my PA would speak to or fax back instructions in Chinese to the maid.

POST SCRIPT

On return to the home country, husbands should not expect their wives to be surrogate maids!