Culture Shock in Philippines

Welcome to the vibrant archipelago of the Philippines, a country known for its stunning landscapes, rich history, and warm, hospitable people. As you prepare for your move, it's natural to anticipate the excitement and challenges that come with adapting to a new culture. Whether you're a seasoned expat or a first-time mover, understanding the nuances of Filipino culture is key to a smooth transition. In this guide, we'll explore the phases of culture shock, language barriers, common cultural missteps, and gather wisdom from those who've walked this path before you.

1. Understanding Culture Shock

Adapting to a new environment often involves going through various stages of culture shock. Initially, you may experience the 'honeymoon phase,' where everything about the Philippines seems charming and exciting. As time goes on, the 'negotiation phase' may set in, where differences in culture, practices, and daily inconveniences can lead to frustration. It's important to recognize this as a normal part of the adjustment process. Eventually, you'll enter the 'adjustment phase,' finding your rhythm and comfort in the new culture, leading to the 'mastery phase,' where you'll feel at home in your new surroundings.

2. Language Learning Challenges

While Filipino (Tagalog) and English are the official languages of the Philippines, there are over 170 dialects spoken throughout the islands. English is widely used in business, government, and education, which can ease the transition for English-speaking expats. However, learning the local language or dialect can greatly enhance your experience and deepen your connection with the community. Don't be discouraged if you're still learning; Filipinos are generally patient and appreciative of any effort to speak their language.

3. Cultural Faux Pas to Avoid

1. Disrespecting Elders: Filipinos hold a deep respect for their elders. Always use "po" and "opo" when speaking to someone older, and avoid addressing them by their first name unless invited to do so.
2. Refusing Hospitality: Declining an offer of food or assistance can be seen as rude. It's polite to accept or at least try what's offered to show appreciation for the gesture.
3. Not Respecting Religious Customs: With a predominantly Catholic population, religious practices are taken seriously. Be respectful of traditions, especially during religious holidays.
4. Ignoring Queueing Etiquette: Whether it's in a supermarket or boarding public transport, cutting in line is frowned upon. Patience and respect for queues are expected.
5. Being Overly Direct: Communication in the Philippines is often indirect to avoid confrontation. Be mindful of your tone and approach, especially when providing criticism or feedback.

4. Expat Advice on Culture Shock

Long-term expats often emphasize the importance of keeping an open mind. One American expat shared how joining local festivities and embracing Filipino time - a more relaxed approach to punctuality - helped them feel more integrated. Another expat from Europe highlighted the value of building a support network with both locals and fellow expats to navigate the cultural landscape together. They also suggested volunteering or participating in community activities as a way to give back and connect with the culture on a deeper level.

Remember, moving to the Philippines is a journey filled with learning and growth. Embrace the differences, be patient with yourself, and take the time to enjoy the unique cultural tapestry of this beautiful country. With an open heart and mind, you'll soon find yourself feeling right at home.

"The phases listed actually describe my experience very well. All I would add is that the process is very fluid. One may finally reach the cultural adjustment phase, only to find that after 3 or 4 months they spend a week back in the irritation-to-anger stage. This is normal. Just because you have a bad week does not mean that you should start pricing movers and plane tickets. Just stick with it and you'll get back to a healthier mindset," said one expat living in Alabang.

"One thing that bothers me about sites for expats is that they seem to be a sounding board for frustrations, so I'm so glad that this question is here. By far, the best thing about the Philippines is the people. I have never encountered a more optimistic group in all my life. They help one another when they are in trouble. Families are close. For the most part, the people are not driven by what brands they wear or type of car they drive (though sadly there are signs that this is starting to slowly change in the metro areas). Filipinos will break out into song or dance the newest pop-dance while living in conditions that would have Americans lying on the floor crying. I have had so many strangers try to feed me, just because we were out and about somewhere and happened to pass a birthday party or family gathering. Everyone is welcome at all times," said one expat living in Alabang.

"Filipinos, generally speaking, do not do sarcasm. I've had to learn how to dial my sarcasm way, way back. On the flipside, when they do try sarcasm, they are generally really bad at it, and it can come off as just purely mean. So you have to learn to have thick skin. Also, ignoring sarcasm all together, there are different observational boundaries here. They will openly comment on your appearance in ways that Americans won't. (Wow, you're fat! You're SO tall! Your feet are HUGE!) This will sometimes be accompanied with pokes or pinches. This is all observational. Nothing mean is meant by it, despite how we've been conditioned to hear it. As a parent, the other thing that has been very hard to get used to is that women I've never seen before will touch my children. There is still a belief here among some that what a mother sees or touches while she's pregnant will affect the looks of her unborn child. The Philippines is a country that, right or wrong, aesthetically prizes light skin and European noses, so it's not uncommon for young women to come up to my children when we are out and about and just start stroking their cheeks. Sometimes you also come across older ladies who just like to stroke and pet cute little kids, no matter what their race, and feel free to do so. My kids are used to it now, but I still have to control the urge to tell these women to step back and keep their hands to themselves. Nothing untoward is meant by it, and it's actually a complement; they are saying they think my kids are cute. So, thanks for that? I just bite my tongue and move us along as soon as we can. I know a lot of expats struggle with the feeling of being overcharged for items or services. This does happen. Do your research beforehand on what things should cost. If you think the price is too high, just stand there for a moment, holding or looking at the item and often they will lower the price. You can try asking what their "last price" is. Sometimes asking them what the price would be if you need a receipt will lower the price, too, especially if they are just working the booth and not the owners, because they would get fired if the booth owner sees they are overcharging and pocketing the difference. Agree to prices before you get into a tricycle or get a massage or any sort of service agreement. Finally, if the price is only slightly inflated, and you can afford it, consider just paying it. Unless you are here living on a Filipino salary yourself and honestly can't afford the "foreigner tax", then look at the extra dollar or two as a form of charity. Do not let your retail experiences contaminate your feelings toward all Filipinos. My Filipino friends are embarrassed and shocked to hear what shopping can be like for me," commented an expat living in Alabang.

"As one expat has mentioned here about crab mentality in Filipinos I never knew what it meant. It was not until I started building my wee bungalow with pool that my once friendly neighbour and family in the province started ignoring me. Believe it or believe it not, if you really dig into the Filipino psychi that you realise they don't like seeing others getting on when they are not, they just hide things deep down and hold grudges just like westerners. Do you know any Filipino expats in your country?? In my country I see how their mindset changes, that open friendliness changes, they become less approachable. Another thing I have first hand experience with, Filipinos, they do not like to spend money on anyone other than themselves or family. I have never in all my years been treated to a lunch or dinner by a Filipino, it's always me paying even though I know they work in good jobs and have a good bank balance, they will still not buy for you like you buy for them. . Only one time a Filipino guy did buy me a beer but he was visiting from Canada. Apart from that, I think in general many many are very tight with money especially if you are a foreigner in their company. I dated a Filipina for a few days years back, she let slip over a few beers that she had a coconut plantation that gives her a good income 4 times a year during harvest time, plus she worked as an events organiser who earned a good salary. She lived in a nice apartment in Quezon city, had the latest iPhone, laptop and much more. For the first few days together I paid everything not knowing this, I even flights to Boracay, hotel etc, all the meals, beer even for the odd bottle of water at 7/11. Never did she once opened her wallet to buy a water, an ice-cream or beer. When she told me over the beers about all her assets and bank balance, I was shocked, next day I told her it's time to say goodbye, I was horrified to think she sat and enjoyed a free ride without even making a some contribution to expenses. My mind has since changed a lot about Filipinos the more time I live among them, they are no different to westerners really," said an expat in Alabang.

"English is widely spoken in Cebu. Probably 90% of the people surely understand but some may be shy to speak English (nose bleed it's called) Challenges are: transportation in rainy weather, slow paced lifestyle (for patience challenged), crowded lines, polluted air & lack of trash collection in city, religious customs guiding culture, law & politics (all respect) confronting poverty, pick pockets & beggars. Adjusting yourself to these," remarked one expat who made the move to Cebu.