Expat Community > Costa Rica

pato23
Joined 2002
Posts: 765

Can you help me..?

18 years ago

Although this message copied below is from a Bulletin Board on 'Free Spirits' - A group comprised of positive entrepreneurs worldwide hosted by Dane Lassie Burlholt on Ryze Business Networking www.ryze.com (as an Ex Pat you are able to continue running your home Internet business or start up one abroad, wherever there is an Internet connection). In many countries you are able to open and operate your own small business as long as you hire locals and other lands require desperately native speaking teachers of ESL)I copy and paste the message below with permission as a result of many years on ex pat and travelers forums I have received many E mails, usually with no name, city or country (name and town folks!!)attached with queries such as "Can you help me to get a job in......?" "Where can I teach English in...?" "Will you arrange our trip to...? "Do you know anyone in.....?" (There are some so called "Americans" that beleive ex pat "Americans" should go out of their way to assist them..beyond sharing information...sorry, do your own homework.)I just cannot go out of my way to assist an anonymous person nor anyone from any forum who insists on using their "handle" and communicating through a message board, send an e mail with your real name, a bit about yourself and often I remind some there are two "magic words"...please and thank you. I belong to a couple of online hospitality clubs with members worldwide, most of them natives of the countries eager to host and show visitors around, usually 2 months in advance I contact the other members and make friends or not online, we all have our photos and profiles and stories up on the group and some of us host ex pat and travel groups. If any of this resonates (or not) with you please advise.

PS If anyone wishing to volunteer in humanitarian aid..different story.

The Friendship Factor

The Communication Process
The ancient Greeks taught that all conversation involved three ingredients: Ethos, or the character of the speaker; Pathos, connecting with the emotions; and Logos. The logos discussed by the Greeks refers to the factual content of a message, the words used. It refers to the argument that you present on behalf of your point of view. (However, we know that the facts themselves, although they are important, are not as powerful or as influential as the emotions are.)

The Selling Process
In selling, we know that there are three parts to the process. These are, first, establishing rapport with the prospective customer, second, identifying the problem or need that the prospective customer has and, third, presenting the solution. These are the ethos, the pathos and the logos of selling to someone.

Build Good Relationships
Your success in every area of life will be based largely on the quality and quantity of relationships that you can initiate and develop over time. In the world of business and sales today, relationships are everything. We often call this the friendship factor.We have discovered that a person will not do business with you until he or she is convinced that you are his or her friend and are acting in his or her best interest. In other words, you cannot influence someone unless he or she likes you in some way. Of course, its often possible for you to influence a person if he fears you, but that type of influence lasts only until the person can rearrange his situation and escape from the circumstances that enable you to have control over him.

How To Influence and Persuade Others
The way to influence people, then, is to earn their liking and respect, to appeal to the friendship factor. This requires spending time with him, caring for him and respecting him. The more time that you are willing to spend with the person, the greater will be his tendency to trust you and to feel that you are acting in his best interest. The more obvious it is that you care about the person, about what he really needs, the more likely it is that he will be open to your influence. This is even more important in your personal relationships, with your family and friends. The more that people feel you care about them, the more open they will be to your influence.

Action Exercises
First, slow down when you first meet a person in a business or sales situation. Take some time to build a relationship with him or her before you proceed to business matters.

Second, appeal to the friendship factor that underlies all good business and personal relationships. Ask questions about the person and his or her life and concerns. Listen attentively to the answers. Focus on the relationship first.

By http://www.lasseburholt.com/briantracy/briantracy.htm

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