Every Love Story Has an Ending
My husband Charles and I moved to Costa Rica 7 years ago. We were unlike many who planned and dreamed of living in Costa Rica. Acting on impulse we came to Costa Rica for a short adventure, enjoyed our visit and decided to stay.
There are three levels to our existence; birth, life and death. Sort of like grade school, high school and college, it seems that there is a process we all must go through. Well, being the sort of man Charles was he would have chosen to go first before me just to check things out. You see, we both believe in a place beyond this realm where our spirits live forever. Thank God the body is left behind.
Upon Charles death a new Costa Rica came alive for me. Some parts are so very funny that I've decided to share my experiences so perhaps you may know what to expect in Costa Rica if your partner dies or what may possibly happen to your spouse upon your death.
On Jan 2nd 2009, our 47th wedding anniversary, Charles died. That morning we had just gone to the gym and on our way home talked about dying physically fit. We promised each other that no matter what happened that we would always try to exercise and eat good foods. It is strange the conversations you have at times. You are always thinking in the future not knowing the future is today. Charles pressed about 350 lbs that week. There were no indications he felt bad or sick, he ate dinner we chatted and he went to bed. The next morning when I awoke, Charles had checked out and all he left behind was his body. Lovingly I looked over at him. He had such a pleasing look on his face. He appeared so at peace, as if nothing had really happened.
My first thoughts were, “What am I going to do?” So I screamed for my helpers. They all came into the room and could not believe their eyes as well. Once we gathered our thoughts we called the Dr. to exam Charles then I called our children. The Dr. came and said that he thought Charles had been dead for about 9 hours. That means he was probably dead when I got in the bed. He may have died while I was in bed. I'm a very heavy sleeper, if there was any indication Charles needed help I probably did not hear him. Looking at his side of the bed it did not seem he struggled.
The Doctor asked me if I wanted to embalm Charles and I said yes, he made several calls and could not reach anyone to embalm Charles. I had no idea that embalming was just a shot of fluid and they could do it right here in the house. In Costa Rica they make death a simple situation and in the US we complicate it. After several tries and one hour later, we could not contact the people who would embalm. The reason for wanting Charles embalmed was so the children could get here and perhaps we would have services. I've been carrying Charles Army uniform around with us every where we have gone since he retired from the military. I had planned to bury him in it. That was another strange occurance; Charles' army uniform was hanging on the door that morning. A few days earlier he told one of our guests that, he did not understand my reasoning for carrying the uniform around where ever we went. Charles had sent it out to be cleaned because it had been hanging in the closet and it smelled very moldy. He had it hanging on the door as his plan was to put the award pins back on it.
While we were waiting to hear from the person who would embalm Charles, a couple hours passed and time is important when dealing with a dead body. The Dr turned to me and said Jeanetta, had you ever considered cremation? I told him that was a discussion Charles and I had and he really did not care. I looked over at the Uniform hanging on the door and thought about my desire to bury him in his uniform with all his ribbons and awards. I looked at burying him in his military uniform as part of our story. We spent most of our life together with him serving in the Army. His demise was directly connected to his tour in Viet-Nam during the height of the conflict in 1968-1969. It seemed if I cremated him I would lose the chance to make that statement. He would not have a white cross nor be buried in a Veterans cemetery. There would be no ceremonies on Memorial Day for me to attend. Well, some dreams are just dreams and reality sets in. It is just too difficult to bury someone here, my reasons for thinking of having a burial evaporated in that moment. I think they have a VA Cemetery in San Salvador or Panama where I could have sent his body. Those sorts of thoughts are sentimental but a little ridiculous.
These are all the things that I'm tossing over in my mind while Charles' body is laying there in bed. After thinking over what it would take to do what I wanted, I decided to cremate Charles' remains.
We called the crematorium which is located in San Jose; it took them about one hour to get here. I rode down with my lawyer to the crematorium and signed papers then paid for the services. With in three days they sent me the remains and gave me all the documents needed for the Embassy.
The hardest part when a person dies has to repeat the words "he died or he is dead". Charles had all his papers in order therefore it was easy to find documents needed to close out retirements and other obligations.
I learned a lot about the status you have when a person dies here in Costa Rica. We had a bank account that I thought was our joint account, they don’t have joint accounts in Costa Rica. My banker told me to go and take all the money out by using the cash machine. Once the bank discovers the account holder is dead they close the account and you can not get any money until probate.
Don't die here without a will. Charles' will was just finalized in December and he died in January. Don't just assume that because you are married that the property just goes naturally to the husband or wife. If your property falls under your corporation there is no trouble unless you have a signing authority which requires both signatures. If your property is in a persons name then that is where the trouble begins. The US Embassy is some help but not a lot of help. They gave me a certified death certificate that one of the insurance companies would not accept and Register de Costa Rica gave me one original and several copies. My insurance company would not accept the copies because they said that they were copies made from carbonized copies.
In order to get another copy you have to submit to the Register de Costa Rica and it can take as long as 3 months to get another original. Each original you have to pay for.
I did not know that you inherited telephones as well. We have our telephones in our name and not the corporation name and if I wanted them in the name of the corporation I needed to have a will that stated Charles left me his possession. The reasons for incorporating became very clear. Everyone talks about it for protecting yourself against law suites but I would say if you have property it makes it very simple. The only things that need to be transferred are the shares.
Charles remains are here in the bodega, we have not buried them nor am I sitting the urn on the mantel so I can look at it every day. We had a wonderful love story and it ended in a great place. I sit in paradise enjoying what my husband provided for me. He knew that one day he would leave me; I don't think he ever doubted that he would die first. He suffered from Agent Orange and I think he knew it would be just a matter of time.
My life is here in Costa Rica. I know that we made the right choice. I am able to continue living very comfortably here. Enjoying every day and the friendships that we established. I was a military wife and a good soldier always prepares his spouse for the inevitable. One day he will leave and not return home.
My income changed upon my husband’s death. The only thing about death is the person leaves but their obligations stay behind. If you are living in Costa Rica, perhaps by reading my story, you will start making preparations for what will happen one day. If you are coming to live in Costa Rica or even coming for a long visit, check into what should be done if you or your partner dies in Costa Rica.
Charles died on our 47th anniversary. We married in Wildflecken Germany on January 2nd and 3rd 1962. Charles died January 2nd 2009, we think we don't know for sure, it may have been on the 3rd, 2009. Charles wanted so badly to be married 50 years. It simply was not meant to be.
Our guest house is growing and going strong. If your in the area or planning to visit Costa Rica, come by and visit La Terraza Guest House in Grecia, Costa Rica.
Costa Rica
Living in Costa Rica Guide
Costa Rica Forum
Contribute
Best Places to Live in Costa Rica
Healthcare in Costa Rica
Cost of Living in Costa Rica
Moving to Costa Rica Guide
Pros & Cons of Living in Costa Rica
Costa Rica Visa & Residency Guide
10 Tips for Living in Costa Rica