Expat Community > Korea

nix
Joined 2006
Posts: 1

hidden culture

18 years ago

Hi. Maybe you might think it's strange me posting this message. It is on a rather personal subject. But I don't have anyone who I can ask, as this is a part of Korean culture which is not really talked about.

I have been teaching in Korea for the last 1 and a half years. I moved here because I wanted to be with my boyfriend (who is Korean). He works as most Korean men do from early morning till late at night. He returns home at around 11 or 12 at night. Recently he has moved in with me and I have found it difficult to get around the fact that he returns home so late.

I know it is part of the Korean working culture to go out and socialize with your workmates after work is finished. But I can't help but wonder if he sometimes goes to any saloons. I'm getting paranoid. I was wondering if anyone knows anything about this hidden part of the Korean culture. He works for a bank and maybe it isn't likely that people who work in banks are not involved in this kind of thing. But I don't know exactly. I have asked my boyfriend about this before, he denied it..... but I know he believes in telling white lies. I know he would tell a lie to protect himself or the person he cares about. He knows I would be shocked and unforgiving if I knew he was going to these places.

Being brought up in the Western culture, I am used to having the man of the house (my father) home for dinner every night and not out drinking with mates. I have heard about the relationships some married couples have where the husband stays out late, the woman is bitter and has an affair. I'm not saying I would start seeing someone else on the side, but I don't want to be the bitter woman waiting for her husband and wondering what he is doing!!! Expecially if when have children together.

The bitterness is building up inside of me. Maybe this is occuring partly because of my own insecurities but I think that what is happening is so degrading to women. I'm sure if the roles were reversed and the women were out late and the men were at home that the men would be having the same issues with trust. Then again maybe this role reversal is occuring in some relationships and I am being too much of a feminist activist!!!!

Sorry to be such an emotional wreck on the forum.
Korea is a great place to be and it has many good points, but this is one bad point of the culture which has just been having an impact on me.

Would love to hear from anyone who has anything to say about this issue.

Kind regards
Nix

William Russell

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hidden culture

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