Expat Community > Sri Lanka

ameliaalwi
Joined 2012
Posts: 1

My sri lankan boyfriend and his big family influences

12 years ago

hi everyone,
i really have a problem in my relationship with a sri lankan guy and seems so complicated.he was really nice, mature, independent and open minded person. we have been together for more than 1,5 yrs and we had serious relationship even we had conversation about marriage. i can get along with his parents and his brother well. the problem came since he went back to sri lanka after 8 yrs he been away from his relations and his home country. he has changed and he broke up with me because he thinks it wont work further because we are different!!. 1st,i am a muslim and he is a buddhist then i'm not sri lankan. we never had this issue and we were respecting each other belief.he told me that he has been forced by his family (especially his grandma who rose him) to find someone from same background.btw, he was married with a foreigner previously and he is divorced now.his family told him that they dont want the story repeated.
he told me that he cant disobey his big family as he has strong feeling now to them.he still want us to be friend, talk on the phone and meet up whenever we can. he ask me to move on but when im trying to stop talking with him, he tried to call me.he told me he needs time because he doesnt know and sure about having future with me. he promised me that we wanted us to be engaged once he finished his study.he was so close w my family so do i (with his parents and brother).i dont know what i have to do.i love him so much and i want him to comeback.i told him that we can go through this together and show your big family that we can be happy in diversity.i asked him how long u need time before make a decision whether wanna be with me or not,and he didnt know he said.
i dont know what i have to do now. he told me that he sacrifices alot for his family incl this situation,but did he realize that im in as well?
he got things happening around like he is wanting to get a job now, financial problem and relation problem.
i dont know what i have to do to him,should i stay away from him or should i be on his side as i dont know whether he will be back to me or prefer to obey his family :(

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