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Odessa Vignettes 7 (Lviv Edition)

8 years ago
I just returned from two days in Lviv with my friend, Rimma. These UKR women are awesome! Rimma's boyfriend dumped her 3 months ago for another woman. Last week the bottom feeder surfaced and told her he wanted her back. Being the soft-hearted and forgiving UKR woman that she was, she agreed to take up the relationship where they had left off. She would have much preferred to cancel our trip and spend the time with her boyfriend, but she had made a promise to me and the tickets had already been purchased, so she said she was going to honor her promise. If she had canceled, I would not have uttered a word in protest, but her integrity is amazing!

Rimma purchased the overnight train tickets, arranged for a large apartment for us in Lviv and did all the navigating to the places we wanted to see. All I had to do was kick back and enjoy the experience.

Trains: I had not been on a train in Ukraine for 16 years. Nothing has changed. They still use the same coaches and the sleeping berths are just as uncomfortable. The toilets are a cesspit and I don't understand why the women in UKR put up with it. But since they were little girls, they have mastered the 'hover' maneuver for public toilets and they just stoically carry on.

The Ukraine Railway Service does not have any expenses involved with the collection and disposal of human waste on the railways. When you are done with your business, you step on a lever at the base of the toilet and a trap door opens to dump the contents of the bowl onto the tracks. Now you know why the conductor of each car locks the bathroom door when the train is stopped at a station.

Lviv: Founded in the 14th century, this medieval city is the quintessential example of a Ukrainian city. The narrow streets of the City Center are hemmed in by 4 story buildings. But where you see a large number of buildings in Odessa that are vacant and crumbling derelicts, and many of the occupied buildings have not seen any external maintenance since their Pre-Revolution construction, all of the buildings I saw in Lviv were occupied and well-maintained.

The ambience of the city is different than Odessa. Odessa has its own unique atmosphere because it is a cosmopolitan city with inhabitants from over 160 nations. But where a walk in Odessa is met with people with a stony 'Russian smile' and avoidance of eye contact, the Lvivians never hesitate to give you a smile and say 'Good Day!' Everyone I spoke to in Russian answered back in English, so getting help when needed would never be a problem. Even all the street signs were in English. In Odessa, outside the City Center, most of the streets don't even have identifying signage. If I had to give the two cities human characterizations, I would say Lviv is the well-groomed, sophisticated aristocrat and Odessa is the bawdy, rough-edged Seaman.

Stairs: Lviv is a 'vertical' city. I have never walked up so many stairs in such a short time in my life! Even the cafes and museums are located on multiple floors. The first thing we did after getting settled in the apartment was to climb to the top of the clock tower on the City Hall building to get a panoramic view of the city. This entailed walking up the stairs to the 6th floor of the building and then walking up another 300 stairs of a narrow, spiral wooden staircase to the observation deck. To be honest, I have lately been concerned about the condition of my heart. But the walk up to the top of the clock tower was a cardiac stress test more grueling than anything a cardiologist could have devised. Obviously, I survived, and I don't worry about my heart any more!

Food and Dining: For breakfast on the second day, we went to an upscale restaurant that featured an 'all you can eat' breakfast buffet. Believe me, this was not like the weekday specials in Las Vegas. This was a buffet of gourmet food served on fine china with a piano player playing romantic music on a grand piano in the background. The dining room was surrounded with tropical plants, and when the piano player was taking a break, we were serenaded by live canaries. I had several interesting dishes including an omelette prepared to my specifications. All of this cost $3.60 each.

For dinner on our last night, we went to a restaurant called 'Trenches'. We went to an underground location to a wooden door with a peephole, like you see in the old movies when patrons went into a secret 'speak-easy'. I knocked on the door and when the peephole opened, I had to say the password (supplied to me by Rimma. It was a patriotic phrase in Ukrainian). The door was then opened by a burly 'soldier' who poured me a shot of what I assumed was Ukrainian vodka. After demonstrating that I could handle the vodka like a true Ukrainian, we were admitted to the restaurant.

The 'motif' of the restaurant was very interesting. It was laid out like the tunnels of an old brick-lined sewer system. Each tunnel ended in a dining room decorated with rough lumber tables and benches. It was supposed to represent an underground 'Partisan' bunker. Then there were guys wandering around in rough uniforms carrying sub machine guns and asking if you were enjoying your dinner.

For dinner I ordered the 'house special'. It was called 'Half-meter sausage'. That is just what it was...a fried sausage a half-meter long! With mustard sauce, it was very tasty.

For lunch on the second day, Rimma and I just wanted to buy some fruit and bread at a C-store and eat in a park. That proved to be a challenge. Whereas in Odessa, there is a C-store located on every block, in Lviv, a C-store is pretty rare. We had to ask several people along the way before we finally found one.

Familial drama: On our return trip the train left Lviv about 9:30 pm. Our traveling companions in the 4 berth second class cabin were a man in his 50's traveling with his 17 year-old daughter. Apparently, while waiting for the train, he had a few too many beers and he was happily drunk. His daughter (absolutely gorgeous with long dark hair and green eyes) was very upset and alternated between railing at him and sobbing big tears because of her public embarrassment. He had a bum leg and used a crutch. She was alternatively castigating him and fussing over him to see that his bunk was made up and that he brushed his teeth and got settled down for the night.

The following morning, as he woke up with a hangover, she was still going between ranting and making sure he was comfortable and ready to face a new day. I have 3 daughters and none of them ever showed that kind of loving fussiness over me. And I have never even been drunk!

Conclusion: I know that some of you reading this will spend $1000 a day and never even notice it. But for the rest of you, I just wanted to say that besides the great company of my traveling companion, Rimma, the best part of this whole adventure was that transportation, lodging, dining and entertainment for two people for two days in Lviv only cost $125. Ya can't beat that with a stick!

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