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same sex couple facing difficulties with immigration

13 years ago
I am an American citizen in a committed same sex relationship with a British citizen. We have been together since October 2007.
In April of this year I travelled to the UK on a tourist VISA and was denied entry. I was told I was too old and that I should be married with a house and kids somewhere in America. They claimed they did not believe I would return to America in spite of me having a return ticket. I had every intention of not overstaying my visa since the penalties are not something that I would want. I was told that in order to return to the UK I needed to apply for a VISA.
I have recently been denied a same sex unmarried partner VISA from the UK due to showing insufficient proof that we have lived together in a relationship akin to marriage or civil partnership for two years.
Most of our relationship we have had to live separated since America does not give us many options to be together.
My partner lived with me for three months in 2008. She then lived with me for a year starting in 2009 and was here on a school visa. She was not on the lease as it was not an option from my apartment complex nor did we open up any joint bank accounts because we were warned against doing that as it might jeopardize her VISA. My partner has flown over here to America several times a year, practically every three months to be with me.
I provided photos spanning the course of our 4 years, bank account statements, letters and cards. Reference letters, published news paper clippings about us that have been featured by various LGBTQ publications, newspaper valentines greeting I placed about her, travel stubs such as airplane boarding passes showing we’ve travelled to each other’s countries, and travel receipts that had both our names on it,
How can a same sex binational couple prove their relationship any further than what I have provided when one of the countries deny them any opportunity to meet the requirements of the other? We have tried everything and am in desperate need of guidance.
My partner is the woman I love with all my heart and that to face any more time apart is devastating to the both of us. We have followed all the rules and am now at a lost as to what more we can do. I wish to appeal the decision but need further assistance from someone who may be familiar with such situations.
We have spoken to a UK immigration lawyer who suggested we try for the fiancé visa which would require us to have a deadline for getting a civil union which I do not think any couple should have to be told when they need to get married by.
I am in need of advice on what we should do as neither my country nor hers is making it possible for us to be together?

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