Pros and Cons of Living in Philippines

"This seems to be the most open culture that I've encountered in SE Asia. People are willing to open up to friendships beyond the superficial. The Filipino people embody stoicism in the face of hardship, cheerfulness, kindness, empathy: there are many, many positives," said one expat in Manila.

"One thing that bothers me about sites for expats is that they seem to be a sounding board for frustrations, so I'm so glad that this question is here. By far, the best thing about the Philippines is the people. I have never encountered a more optimistic group in all my life. They help one another when they are in trouble. Families are close. For the most part, the people are not driven by what brands they wear or type of car they drive (though sadly there are signs that this is starting to slowly change in the metro areas). Filipinos will break out into song or dance the newest pop-dance while living in conditions that would have Americans lying on the floor crying. I have had so many strangers try to feed me, just because we were out and about somewhere and happened to pass a birthday party or family gathering. Everyone is welcome at all times," said a person living in Alabang.

"English is widely spoken in Cebu. Probably 90% of the people surely understand but some may be shy to speak English (nose bleed it's called) Challenges are: transportation in rainy weather, slow paced lifestyle (for patience challenged), crowded lines, polluted air & lack of trash collection in city, religious customs guiding culture, law & politics (all respect) confronting poverty, pick pockets & beggars. Adjusting yourself to these," said one person in Cebu.

"As one expat has mentioned here about crab mentality in Filipinos I never knew what it meant. It was not until I started building my wee bungalow with pool that my once friendly neighbour and family in the province started ignoring me. Believe it or believe it not, if you really dig into the Filipino psychi that you realise they don't like seeing others getting on when they are not, they just hide things deep down and hold grudges just like westerners. Do you know any Filipino expats in your country?? In my country I see how their mindset changes, that open friendliness changes, they become less approachable. Another thing I have first hand experience with, Filipinos, they do not like to spend money on anyone other than themselves or family. I have never in all my years been treated to a lunch or dinner by a Filipino, it's always me paying even though I know they work in good jobs and have a good bank balance, they will still not buy for you like you buy for them. . Only one time a Filipino guy did buy me a beer but he was visiting from Canada. Apart from that, I think in general many many are very tight with money especially if you are a foreigner in their company. I dated a Filipina for a few days years back, she let slip over a few beers that she had a coconut plantation that gives her a good income 4 times a year during harvest time, plus she worked as an events organiser who earned a good salary. She lived in a nice apartment in Quezon city, had the latest iPhone, laptop and much more. For the first few days together I paid everything not knowing this, I even flights to Boracay, hotel etc, all the meals, beer even for the odd bottle of water at 7/11. Never did she once opened her wallet to buy a water, an ice-cream or beer. When she told me over the beers about all her assets and bank balance, I was shocked, next day I told her it's time to say goodbye, I was horrified to think she sat and enjoyed a free ride without even making a some contribution to expenses. My mind has since changed a lot about Filipinos the more time I live among them, they are no different to westerners really," remarked one expat in Alabang.

"Very heavy traffic. There's a lit of poverty, which means run down buildings, bad roads, etc. Some things I want to buy are hard to find. Mostly food items. Like I really had to search to find salsa. Strawberries and blueberries are hard to find and expensive when you can find them. Water service here is unreliable, but everyone in my neighborhood has a big water tank so when the water is on, it fills, and when its off, you use what's in the tank. We've never emptied the tank. Electric often has brief power failures, but its always come back in an hour it's two. Have get to have a power failure that lasted more than two hours. Long lines and slow service at government offices and banks -- but service at most other place s is good. There are lots of beggars. I struggle with whether to give them anything. I prefer to give to established charities who hopefully can tell who is really needy. Some exists complain that they are charged a "skin tax" -- prices at informal markets are higher for foreigners. I figure they're still cheap, so so what? one a cab driver overcharged me by 50 pedos. That's $1. I just gave it to him. If he goes home smugly satisfied that he cheated that gullible foreigner out of $1, let him enjoy his victory," explained one expat living in Cebu.

"Communication is somewhat indirect. It's so important to watch body language, in particular changes in body language (rather than overt gestures) that indicate 'something's up'. Corruption, when encountered, is upsetting and frustrating. The inefficiency of anything official from receipt giving to getting the driver's licence (though there are notable exceptions). The plus side is that inefficiency is almost always accompanied by a smile," said one expat in Manila.

"Filipinos, generally speaking, do not do sarcasm. I've had to learn how to dial my sarcasm way, way back. On the flipside, when they do try sarcasm, they are generally really bad at it, and it can come off as just purely mean. So you have to learn to have thick skin. Also, ignoring sarcasm all together, there are different observational boundaries here. They will openly comment on your appearance in ways that Americans won't. (Wow, you're fat! You're SO tall! Your feet are HUGE!) This will sometimes be accompanied with pokes or pinches. This is all observational. Nothing mean is meant by it, despite how we've been conditioned to hear it. As a parent, the other thing that has been very hard to get used to is that women I've never seen before will touch my children. There is still a belief here among some that what a mother sees or touches while she's pregnant will affect the looks of her unborn child. The Philippines is a country that, right or wrong, aesthetically prizes light skin and European noses, so it's not uncommon for young women to come up to my children when we are out and about and just start stroking their cheeks. Sometimes you also come across older ladies who just like to stroke and pet cute little kids, no matter what their race, and feel free to do so. My kids are used to it now, but I still have to control the urge to tell these women to step back and keep their hands to themselves. Nothing untoward is meant by it, and it's actually a complement; they are saying they think my kids are cute. So, thanks for that? I just bite my tongue and move us along as soon as we can. I know a lot of expats struggle with the feeling of being overcharged for items or services. This does happen. Do your research beforehand on what things should cost. If you think the price is too high, just stand there for a moment, holding or looking at the item and often they will lower the price. You can try asking what their "last price" is. Sometimes asking them what the price would be if you need a receipt will lower the price, too, especially if they are just working the booth and not the owners, because they would get fired if the booth owner sees they are overcharging and pocketing the difference. Agree to prices before you get into a tricycle or get a massage or any sort of service agreement. Finally, if the price is only slightly inflated, and you can afford it, consider just paying it. Unless you are here living on a Filipino salary yourself and honestly can't afford the "foreigner tax", then look at the extra dollar or two as a form of charity. Do not let your retail experiences contaminate your feelings toward all Filipinos. My Filipino friends are embarrassed and shocked to hear what shopping can be like for me," said a person living in Alabang.