What do expats find most challenging?

"As one expat has mentioned here about crab mentality in Filipinos I never knew what it meant. It was not until I started building my wee bungalow with pool that my once friendly neighbour and family in the province started ignoring me. Believe it or believe it not, if you really dig into the Filipino psychi that you realise they don't like seeing others getting on when they are not, they just hide things deep down and hold grudges just like westerners. Do you know any Filipino expats in your country?? In my country I see how their mindset changes, that open friendliness changes, they become less approachable. Another thing I have first hand experience with, Filipinos, they do not like to spend money on anyone other than themselves or family. I have never in all my years been treated to a lunch or dinner by a Filipino, it's always me paying even though I know they work in good jobs and have a good bank balance, they will still not buy for you like you buy for them. . Only one time a Filipino guy did buy me a beer but he was visiting from Canada. Apart from that, I think in general many many are very tight with money especially if you are a foreigner in their company. I dated a Filipina for a few days years back, she let slip over a few beers that she had a coconut plantation that gives her a good income 4 times a year during harvest time, plus she worked as an events organiser who earned a good salary. She lived in a nice apartment in Quezon city, had the latest iPhone, laptop and much more. For the first few days together I paid everything not knowing this, I even flights to Boracay, hotel etc, all the meals, beer even for the odd bottle of water at 7/11. Never did she once opened her wallet to buy a water, an ice-cream or beer. When she told me over the beers about all her assets and bank balance, I was shocked, next day I told her it's time to say goodbye, I was horrified to think she sat and enjoyed a free ride without even making a some contribution to expenses. My mind has since changed a lot about Filipinos the more time I live among them, they are no different to westerners really," said a member in Alabang, Philippines.

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"Filipinos, generally speaking, do not do sarcasm. I've had to learn how to dial my sarcasm way, way back. On the flipside, when they do try sarcasm, they are generally really bad at it, and it can come off as just purely mean. So you have to learn to have thick skin. Also, ignoring sarcasm all together, there are different observational boundaries here. They will openly comment on your appearance in ways that Americans won't. (Wow, you're fat! You're SO tall! Your feet are HUGE!) This will sometimes be accompanied with pokes or pinches. This is all observational. Nothing mean is meant by it, despite how we've been conditioned to hear it. As a parent, the other thing that has been very hard to get used to is that women I've never seen before will touch my children. There is still a belief here among some that what a mother sees or touches while she's pregnant will affect the looks of her unborn child. The Philippines is a country that, right or wrong, aesthetically prizes light skin and European noses, so it's not uncommon for young women to come up to my children when we are out and about and just start stroking their cheeks. Sometimes you also come across older ladies who just like to stroke and pet cute little kids, no matter what their race, and feel free to do so. My kids are used to it now, but I still have to control the urge to tell these women to step back and keep their hands to themselves. Nothing untoward is meant by it, and it's actually a complement; they are saying they think my kids are cute. So, thanks for that? I just bite my tongue and move us along as soon as we can. I know a lot of expats struggle with the feeling of being overcharged for items or services. This does happen. Do your research beforehand on what things should cost. If you think the price is too high, just stand there for a moment, holding or looking at the item and often they will lower the price. You can try asking what their "last price" is. Sometimes asking them what the price would be if you need a receipt will lower the price, too, especially if they are just working the booth and not the owners, because they would get fired if the booth owner sees they are overcharging and pocketing the difference. Agree to prices before you get into a tricycle or get a massage or any sort of service agreement. Finally, if the price is only slightly inflated, and you can afford it, consider just paying it. Unless you are here living on a Filipino salary yourself and honestly can't afford the "foreigner tax", then look at the extra dollar or two as a form of charity. Do not let your retail experiences contaminate your feelings toward all Filipinos. My Filipino friends are embarrassed and shocked to hear what shopping can be like for me," remarked another expat who made the move to Alabang, Philippines.