Expat Community > Brazil

confusedinusa
Joined 2012
Posts: 2

Older Brazilian Men, with Teenage Girls, normal?

12 years ago

Hello,
I am going to be marrying a woman in Brazil next month. I am an American man. I am 37 and she is five years younger than me.
Recently, we were talking about our pasts and she told me that he first boyfriend was when she was 17 years old. He was 35. She says that she started having sex with him when she turned 18.
She kept saying that he was a good man and that it was her choice to be with him. Also that the society in which she lived accepted the relationship and her own mother was ok with it also.
The relationship lasted about five years and then he moved. Then she found another boyfriend who was approx ten years older than her.
As you all can imagine, I was very disturbed by this information.
Having lived in the U.S. my entire life, this is an issue that makes me sick.
It seems like, in Brazil this is common. Where men in their 30’s (or older) will start dating and having sex with young teenage girls. It is accepted and nobody says or does anything about it.
Here in the U.S., if a 35 year old man started dating a 17 year old girl, the parents (or anyone who learned about this) would call the police and try to get this man in prison for statutory rape.
I became very angry and disgusted when she told me this about her past. I do not see how a 35 year old man has anything in common with a 17 year old girl. He only wanted sex and that is someone who has no morals, ethics or character. 35 year old men, should not be going to the local high school to find their next sex victim.
But then she tried to explain that he was a good influence on her. That while other boys her age were only interested in playing soccer and talking about stupid things, he was already working as a lawyer and helped her go to law school. She later graduated and is now working as a lawyer in Brazil.
My question is: what should I do, this is situation?
Obviously, I would like to marry her, because I am in love with her.
But I am worried, because, if we marry and we have a daughter. When our daughter is 17 and wants to do the same thing as her mother, I would be dead against it. For example, if a 35 year old man came to my house to take my 17 year old daughter out on a date, I would immediately grab my cell phone and call the police. Because I know his intentions are only to have sex with her.
I know these are strong cultural differences between people in Brazil and people here in the U.S. I try not to be harsh, or overly judgmental, but it seems that Brazilian men are predators, in a society that accepts it.
Please give me your opinions and thoughts about how to deal with this.
Please offer some advice, thank you so much
Confused in USA

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Older Brazilian Men, with Teenage Girls, normal?

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