Expat Community > Italy

AnotherUserName
Joined 2023
Posts: 8

Creating a beautiful purpose-driven life when exhausted the small stuff

1 year ago

Hey all, I've been here 6 years, and even if I didn't move with any illusions about a Roman Holiday-esque situation (I came for my MA then PhD) lately I'm finding myself crushed by the realities of everyday life. It's all the usual stuff: waves of alienation from the culture clash, missing friends and family... birthdays, funerals, milestones of the people I left behind in the US, and struggling with finding my new circle and routine. But more so it's that this big stuff all feels heavier when even the most mundane simple things are still so hard and alien to me, and I don't really know how any of us do it long-term and keep our patience and sanity intact.

Today is just the latest wasted day full of frustration over stuff that shouldn't matter. After a terrible first year with Unicredit, I thought I'd left the Italian banking system behind, which helped (as a happy Wise customer for 5 years). Now I discovered I need an Iban that has a convention with INPS--an Italian Iban to be clear. This after months of circular dialogue, non-answers, and wrong answers from INPS agents as to why my otherwise-functional-for-everything-else-in-Italy-Iban would not work with them. With my Italian husband's help, today I've/we've spent 5 hours trying to open a bank account at Intesa San Paolo only to go home defeated. This after wasting the morning at Poste Italia figuring out my branch doesn't know how to get an American a pre-paid card. Tomorrow I'll try again at the bank with a new appointment and probably just pay a higher fee for a different kind of account. None of this surprises me anymore, but I still get so angry and drained. My questions to my fellow foreigners are both practical and sort of theoretical.

1. First, can anyone here actually say they are a happy customer of any Italian bank, and if so which? 2. With this endless inefficient and impenetrable bureaucracy, are the so-called ex-pats who seem at ease here just rich enough to hire someone else to deal with all of it for them? How to adjust? 3. In the end, to those of you who have fully relocated to Italy and built a life here: What were your lowest points emotionally and how did you dig yourself out? How to find the energy for building community and engage in fulfilling, meaningful activity again when everyday adult tasks are so stupidly daunting?

Any words of wisdom or encouragement greatly appreciated.

Signed,
Pittiful near Perugia

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Creating a beautiful purpose-driven life when exhausted the small stuff

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