Expat Community > Korea

mrsyoon1
Joined 2013
Posts: 1

Should I stay or should I go?

11 years ago

Hi,so my husband is Korean and wants me to move to Korea this December. A little background info is I lived in Korea for 6 years previously and we got married and everything was fine. Then I got pregnant and just shortly before I was going to give birth my husband pretty much begged me to immigrate to Canada. So when I was 35 1/2 weeks pregnant we flew to Canada together and he waited on his permanent resident status while we had the baby. While waiting he had a work visa and a job and made some friends. However he could not work in his field without Canadian qualifications so our plan was for him to go back to school once his permanent resident status. While waiting, he became depressed and really changed. he was often quite nasty to me. I had experience living in another country to I tried my best and did everything I could to make him more happy. I cooked him Korean food everyday, I even learned how to make kimchi and our house was never without it. he completely changed, and refused to do anything about it. i suggested to go to couples therapy and everything but he would not go. with how he acted and everything he said he made it seem like everything was my fault and that he hated me and that he didnt want his future with me. one day he would profess his love for me, the next day he wouldnt talk to me. he really was hot and cold. anyway long story short, once he got his permanent resident papers, he went to visit his family and his family convinced him to stay in Korea. yup i was a little pissed about that to say the least. anyway he calls everyday and we use kakao talk to keep in touch throughout the day as well and he wants me and our daughter to join him. he always says how much better things are going to be and for me to hurry up and get to korea. however the closer it gets to the time i am supposed to go, the more torn i feel. i have no idea what to do. if i get there and everything is back to the way it was and we are happy again it would be great, but what if i get there and he continues this abuse? i feel i owe it to our relationship to try everything and see if we can make it work. but i cant shake this feeling that i am making a HUGE mistake. i cant just think of myself in this situation, i have to consider my daughter as well. would you move to korea for your spouse? do you think this would be a good idea or not? adice would be much appreciated. :)

William Russell

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Should I stay or should I go?

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