By Winston Wu (www.happierabroad.com)
As I'm writing this from the Philippines, I am happy
to say that I am now a perpetual happy and positive
optimist. How did I do it, you might ask?
Well it's simple, but it wasn't by changing "myself"
(for I wasn't the problem). And it wasn't by changing
my attitude, thoughts or going through some
self-help/pop psychology/New Age program or seminar.
In fact, I didn't even have to change myself or who I
was. I just remained the same person. Instead, it
was simply by changing my geographic LOCATION,
environment and culture, entering another world so to
speak. Let me explain.
In the US, no one talks to me except old people, I
can't get any dates at all, women are completely
anti-social to me, strangers act like I don't exist,
and I am totally ignored and feel like I don't exist.
Unfortunately, women in America generally dont like
to meet new people. They dont even talk to you
unless you are in their clique or they grew up with
you, or its business-related. And thats
unacceptable to me. But everything I do to try to
change all that seems futile, as if trying to change
any of it goes completely against the flow and against
the grain, inappropriate and out-of-bounds! Ick!
It's a no-win situation, or a serious incompatibility
at least.
So, with everything that I am suppressed, strangled,
and invalidated, how could I possibly be happy or
positive, when I can't be who I truly am or act out my
nature of being an outgoing fun vibrant social
butterfly? It's simply not possible, nor is it
natural.
But on the other hand, here in the Philippines, I can
be who I truly am, and when I do so, it gets very
POSITIVE results! The social environment here
completely allows, encourages, and adds fuel to my
very social outgoing nature, especially with women!
Here, I NEVER have to be alone if I don't want to. I
ALWAYS have many hot women to choose from, of all
types - dark skin (chocolate), light skin (vanilla),
medium olive color, cute, sexy, tall or short, etc.
(If you think my ice cream comparisons are bad or
cheesy, get this - when a dark skinned and light
skinned Filipina are together, they like to refer to
themselves as "coffee and cream") Often I have so many
contenders that I don't have time for them all and
have to cancel a lot of plans!
Thus, I am finally allowed to be the social butterfly
that I am, as well as positive, confident, optimistic
and happy. How can I not be, when all my fantasies
and desires and wants/needs are being fulfilled here,
naturally and with the flow too!? Simply put, who I
am is ACCENTUATED here, rather than invalidated or
suppressed.
Some people here even say that I'm the most positive
and confident person they've ever met. (If only they
knew where I was coming from!) The difference is
astounding. It's like a completely different universe
where I'm a completely different person. The
magnitude of my dating life here is literally "out of
this world" (out of the world of America that is).
Critics and prejudiced Americans will commonly charge
that the women here, as well as in most foreign
countries, like me for money and a green card to the
US. However, they are wrong because: (please read
these bulleted points carefully)
1) Many girls here don't care about my money and
STILL like/love me even after they see that I'm a
cheapskate and very frugal. They don't even care if I
spend money on our dates, as they just like "being
with me" and enjoy my funny, charismatic, positive,
enthusiastic, personable personality.
2) This is probably the biggest reason, and my
cultural consultant, a long time visitor to the
Philippines who speaks two Filipino dialects, attests
to it too. Most of the Filipinas Ive met or dated
here prefer that their boyfriend or husband stay with
them in THEIR country. After all, family is
everything to them, and so they prefer to remain close
to their immediate and extended family. But if their
lover insists, they will try to go overseas, albeit
reluctantly. In fact, out of all the many women Ive
dated here, NOT ONE of them has asked me to take them
to America or even brought up the subject! That right
there DEBUNKS this common misconception. Besides, it
is an American myth that most people in other
countries want to come to the US. The well traveled
know that is not so.
3) Ive slept with bar girls and girls who
normally sleep with men for money here for FREE,
simply cause they liked me and found me sweet,
romantic, tender and charming! They never asked me
for any money! Imagine that. That could never happen
to me in the States. That proves right there that
they arent after me only for money, but that I am
very likable and charming to them. And Ive gotten
FREE kisses here from HUNDREDS of girls too, including
French kisses from bar girls and dancers that I never
paid or bought commissioned ladydrinks for (and NO,
they dont do that to every guy!).
4) A few girls here (but not most) have told me
that Im not their type, for they like white guys or
bigger masculine guys. And conversely, Ive seen some
reject white guys in favor of me, because Im more of
the type they like and go for. Now, if it were all
about money and a green card, then typewouldnt
matter now would it? But it does, because
relationships and romantic chemistry are personal and
subject to taste and chemistry.
5) Filipinas have shown favoritism toward me over
other older richer guys or customers. (I can't get
into details about how since it wouldn't be
appropriate to describe here :)) This also proves
that they don't like me just for money, since I am
treated better, given favoritism and preferentail
treatment over other guys who have more money than me,
due to my higher likeability. Some bar girls have
reached down from the stage to give me a kiss on the
mouth, which they don't do for most customers. I have
a fun loving free-spirited personality that a lot of
Filipinas resonate with, as well as a sweet romantic
side, and a face they find young and handsome (gwapo).
Those are the reasons why I am liked so much here
that even bar girls let me hang out in their bar
without paying or buying any drinks. Im likable and
entertaining to them.
6) I've been able to get acquainted and befriend
middle class girls here who have enough money
themselves not to need a guy (which I can't do in the
states). Sure, the middle or upper class girls aren't
easy to "pick up" in public, but they find me
interesting and likable too, once they get to know me.
And they are willing to spend personal time with me,
unlike girls in the US who always make excuses and say
they are busy.
7) There are some guys here with looks and money
who dont do well at all with Filipinas. I know one
good looking American guy here with a good income from
an international job, and my cultural consultant knows
a good looking young French guy here with a successful
art business. Yet believe it or not, both of them
cant get a girlfriend in the Philippines! They have
had nothing but bad luck and bad experiences with the
women here. Its obviously not their looks or status.
But rather, something in their vibe and personality
just doesnt jive well with the girls here. Some
peoples chemistry just doesnt mix well with certain
countries, just like mine doesnt mix well in American
culture and its fake politeness social culture.
Sometimes, things just dont click, not just between
individuals, but between individuals and countries as
well. Thus, its not all about money and status, like
some think. Yet here in the Philippines, my
personality seems to jive extremely well with
Filipinas as a whole, regardless of whether Im their
physical type or not. And thats why almost all
Filipinas, even those who arent into me romantically
or are already taken, ENJOY hanging out with me.
8) There are men I know here who have a lot of
money and a high class professional occupation. Yet
the girls who go out with them look unhappy around
them, and dont stay with them for long. Though they
will accept their money and presents, they still leave
them after a while because they simply dont like them
and dont enjoy being with them. Now, if it were all
about money, this wouldnt happen. Ive seen this
happen to doctors, oil company professionals and
business owners. As a result, these wealthy men who
splurge to impress women, become jaded and cynical,
unlike the happy optimistic me who even though poor,
wins over women here with charm, looks, sweetness, and
confidence. Youve got to remember that these girls,
though mostly poor, are HUMAN BEINGS who, like you,
prefer to be with those they LIKE and CLICK with, not
just anyone with money and a US passport.
9) From my experience with gold diggers and users
in Russia and the Philippines, Ive come to recognize
their common patterns, such as the way they manipulate
and tell lies, the way they tell you what you want to
hear yet their actions contradict their words, and
their tendency to ask for money within the first week
of knowing you. And what I can tell you is that MOST
of the girls who like me here do NOT exhibit these
traits. However, oddly enough, there are some women
(and men) who genuinely believe that giving money is a
demonstration and sign of true love. These folks see
no shame in buying loveand are proud to utter the
phrase no money, no honey. Such women will even ask
for money from a man she truly loves, seeing nothing
wrong with it. But of course, I do not share their
values. An effective way Ive found, to weed these
types out is to simply tell them that you are poor and
on a tight budget, and act like it. If they disappear
after that, then you know what they were probably
after. If not, then youve got a more genuine girl.
Needless to say, if you want to impress somebody, you
dont have to take them to a fancy restaurant
everyday; rather, mix it up with several days of going
to fast food or cooking at home. A nice sweet
Filipina will appreciate that.
10) A high percentage of Filipinas I get involved
with tend to like to bite me and pinch me. I was told
that they only do that to you if they LIKE you.
Certainly if they only wanted to use me, they wouldnt
be biting and pinching me. They only do that to those
they like or find adorable, cute, or cuddly.
Some guys see everything in terms of money and
economics. Well Im not one of those guys of course,
for I consider many other deeper factors. Not every
guy with money can duplicate everything Ive done.
Looks, personality, and attitude are strong factors
too, among others, and in this culture, I rank high in
those areas to them, which is why I often get
preferential and special treatment from girls here
over richer guys who are more shallow and not as
personable or likable. Let me give you a little pep
talk though. In reality, human beings are very
complex, and dont fit into overly simplistic pet
theories like She just wants you for money. People
often dont make sense and dont even understand
themselves even. So these one shot labels and
formulas put together by shallow know-it-all people to
try to explain other people just dont hold in
reality. None of the girls here would claim that they
like a guy ONLY for money or a green card, and
frankly, NONE of them have ever asked me to take them
to the US either! (Likewise, no one considers
themself bad, evilor crazyeither, as we all
consider ourselves justified in what we do) These are
merely labels we put on others to explain them in OUR
MINDS. And in this case, the they just like you for
money and green cardtheory comes from the mouths of
judgmental people who like to jump to conclusions, and
maybe are all about moneythemselves. But they can
only speak for themselves, not for others.
Anyway, some of the relationships I have here even
eclipse the romances portrayed in Hollywood films, to
the point where when I watch them, I say to myself, "I
have a lot better than that in real life!" And that's
something I could NEVER EVER have said in the USA! In
fact, I dont even watch TV here (like the millions of
couch potatoes in America, of which I used to be one
of) because I have no need to, as my REAL LIFE is more
exciting to me than whats on the tube!
Believe it or not, some girls here have even said that
Im TOO HANDSOME for them! And that because of that,
they dont trust me! In their view, they explain,
handsome men have many girls and dont stick to one,
and thus cant be trusted. Thus, they prefer average
looking men who are more likely to be anonymous, as
they dont like the drama of being in love with a guy
who has many girls. Imagine that! No one in the US
would ever say or think that about me! Amazing beyond
belief! Thats why I say that the Philippines is
total salvation for a guys ego!
The most significant difference for me is this: When
I am sociable and outgoing to girls in the US, they
think I'm a creep, and react with hatred and/or
antisociality. But when I am sociable and outgoing to
girls in the Philippines (and in most other
countries), their response is overwhelmingly positive,
and react with enthusiasm and/or attraction. That's
a whole world of difference. As an incredible example,
when I go to the local mall here in the Philippines,
about 90 percent of the girls will give me their
number if I ask for it, even if they are really hot
and the kind that you would say ouch!and consider
out of your league! 90 percent! But in the states,
that percentage is&&.. yep you guessed it, zero! What
a universe of difference! In fact, most of the time,
they enjoy being "picked up" and "hit on", finding me
charming and attractive. And my sweet talk and
compliments make them feel good about themselves, so
they like being with me.
In short, here I LIVE the kind of love life Ive
always DREAMED of!
In my opinion, Filipinas make the best girlfriends,
lovers, and friends. Compared to females in the other
Asian countries, they aren't as strict, serious,
prudish or hung up. Instead, they are more relaxed,
carefree, happy-go-lucky, easygoing, playful,
passionate and sensual. They are also very
nonjudgmental and nonracist. And they have a great
sense of humor, enjoying the silliest things which
easily amuse them. Thus, you can always have fun and
joke around or play with them, even if you have
nothing else to talk about. That's so nice and
refreshing, especially when you are so accustomed to
antisociality and hostility from women in the US.
Best of all, they LOVE to flirt. When I flirt with
girls in the Philippines, they not only enjoy it, but
it actually ADDS FUEL to our chemistry (whereas in the
US, flirting with girls "creeped" them out and
emanated a vibe of hostility from them). And that's a
big thing to me, because I am a big-time flirt!
Filipinas are also a great blend of outer and inner
traits. Ethnically, they are Asian, Malay and
Spanish, resulting in a very exotic and beautiful mix
that is very pleasing and sensual to the eyes. Their
exotic sexy sensual olive complexion ranges from light
to dark shades, all of which are sexy to me and many
other foreigners here. And their attractive highly
feminine appearance is combined with a tender romantic
loving/caring inner side to them a fantastic blend
to say the least.
The way they treat you and touch you is just so
sensual and fulfilling. They have this warm tender
touch that white women definitely dont have (not to
sound racist). Ive experienced it and can understand
now why so many foreign men are addicted to the
Philippines and to Filipinas. I think its a genetic
thing, not just a cultural thing, as you can feel it
to the bone (and soul). Not to sound racist, but just
as brown sugar is healthier than white sugar, and
brown rice is healthier than white rice, (as any
nutritionist will tell you) perhaps brown skinned
women are healthier for your mind, body, and sanity as
well. They seem to bring this natural balance to your
life and soul.
Thus, Id say that even if you didnt have a taste for
Filipinas or Asian women before, if you come to the
Philippines, you soon will. Once youre here and
experience females of this caliber, any preferences
you had will simply go out the window.
Not only are most Filipinas either hot or cute, and
passionate and tender in bed, but their personality is
so soothing, gentle, easy-going and accommodating that
they are like my best friends too. They are just so
comfortable to be around, in a way that you could
never imagine possible in the West.
They are also a great blend of White and Asian traits.
Their Spanish blood makes them much more wild,
relaxed, passionate and expressive than Orientals such
as the Chinese, Japanese, or Koreans, who are
non-expressive, robotic and overly serious and strict
in comparison. And they have big round eyes that are
considered attractive in Western Culture (although to
my surprise, my slanted Asian eyes are considered more
attractive in Filipino culture than their big round
eyes are). They have all the physical beauty of thin
feminine Asian women in light and dark colors
(vanilla and chocolateso to speak), as well as
their humble, modest, sweet, pleasing, soothing
romantic nature. The only drawbacks to them are that
they dont like to think much, dont like to answer
questions or provide explanations when asked to do so,
and are sometimes moody and quiet for unexplainable
reasons that they refuse to discuss. It seems in
their nature to be that way. Thus you dont get much
intellectual stimulation with them. But the good news
is that its much easier to train and educate them
than it is to teach a Westernized woman to be sweeter
and more loving.
Although Filipinas aren't as intellectual, educated,
or deep-thinking as the European women are, they make
up for it in their other qualities. They have this
essence about them, warm sensual tenderness and a way
of treating you that makes you feel needed and loved,
like a real man, in a way that you had always wished
and dreamed deep down but never dared hoped for. It's
beyond words - something you have to feel and
experience as a man to understand. And when you do,
you realize it's what you had always wanted.and even
friends. They are tender, sweet, passionate and fun.
In a way, it's like they give new birth to your heart,
for if your heart had lost faith in love, they awaken
it and renew it with their child-like hope and belief
in love, making it a reality for you, and making you a
believer again as well.
The bottom line for me is that here in the
Philippines, I feel APPRECIATED, VALUED, DESIRED,
WANTED, LIKED, LOVED, NEEDED, etc. (I have cute girls
following me around as if theyre hypnotized!) whereas
in North America I constantly felt ALIENATED, ALONE,
IGNORED, UNDESIRED, UNWANTED, NONEXISTENT, and worst
of all POWERLESS to do anything about it. In short,
all my WANTS, NEEDS, DESIRES, and FANTASIES are
fulfilled here.
Anyone who saw my life here and my life in America
would think that I was in two different universes.
Im serious. And anybody who witnessed the difference
in person would never blame me for saying all these
things either. That I can GUARANTEE. I have
literally thousands of photos now, from Russia,
Europe, and Asia to prove it all how different my
social/love life really is here vs. back in America
So, contrary to what New Agers and attitude fanatics
(the "you create your own reality" crowd) think, I
didn't become a happy optimist by changing my
attitude, thoughts or beliefs, but by exercising my
power of choice and braving it out against the fear of
the unknown, by going to another location on the other
side of the globe.
PS - For another awe inspiring story of Salvation in
the Philippines, see my cultural consultants account
at:
www.happierabroad.com/Love_Adventure_Philippines.htm
Thanks for reading,
Winston
www.happierabroad.com
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