Expat Community > Philippines

SamK
Joined 2019
Posts: 6

Very confused, don't know if I can trust my Filipina wife

5 years ago

Before I can divulge any details. I will just give a short summary.

I am an expat based in Taiwan. I found and married a Filipino blue collar worker there. I did love her, I guess I still do.

Before marriage we dated for 1.5 years. We didn't live together but met once or twice a week. She argued over little things every week. Constant arguments. I tried to end it many times but I was too weak and couldn't see her cry. The same tears led me to marry her when her factory contract ended. That way she could stay in Taiwan.

After marriage, things got much much worse. The arguments reached a frequency of 4 to 5 days a week. I think she has had over a thousand arguments with me ever since I met her in mid-2016. Is that too much ? You don't have to trust me but just assume for a moment that I am not lying or exaggerating when I say that each argument was started by her, usually over little things. The only major factor was that I had to support my little brother as he was going through a rough time. She constantly argued with me about him. She hated it. It was one sided. I told her it was my parents request that I help him. He was like a son to me. I just needed some time to help him on his feet and then he would leave.. But after months of fighting, she eventually did force me to kick out my own brother. And she wouldn't let me call him or even meet him. I had to do that in secret. Anyways, that's just the only major issue I can think of. But most arguments were over little, stupid and immature things.

I have begged her a thousand times to stop. I just wanted to live in peace. She always promised she would change after every threat of divorce but she would just starts the next day again. Slowly I went in to depression. My sadness eventually turned to resentment and anger. (But I have never touched or harmed her. I am not type of person).

I eventually decided to divorce her because she made my life a living hell. Unfortunately (and it's my mistake) just when I was about to leave her I found out she is pregnant.

So I cancelled my plans and decided to start fresh. Sadly she didn't change but for some reason got even worse. I finally asked her to leave while she was 4 months pregnant. She is now in Philippines. She is begging me to let her come back. I am very close to forgiving her because she is crying, and I feel very very guilty , especially about the baby. She tells me how her pregnancy is at risk due to lack of medical care there. Medical here in Taiwan is much better. I feel that if I don't help her and the baby I would be indirectly harming the baby. But I am so scared that once she comes back she will torture me again.

I am in such a bad position now where I have to either sacrifice myself or my unborn child. I need help. Can I trust her ? She had a thousand chances to stop her behavior but didn't, why should I trust her now ?

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